Extreme introverting

Yeah, I’m still alive. I just haven’t felt up to writing. I keep shying away from it again and again.

This winter has brought lots of rain, which is good and bad. The drought is officially over in Northern California, and we’ve been experiencing flooding instead. It seems that in the Bay Area, the North Bay in particular has been getting hit with more rain and our infrastructure is suffering. With every storm I get alerts about road closures due to flooding or landslides.

I took a brief break to visit with friends in Portland, Oregon around the New Year. We spent a few days near Mt. Hood and I did some snowshoeing for the first time. Trying to return home became an ordeal due to the weather. The first of a series of ice/snow storms hit Portland, closing the airport and the public transit system down. After enduring two cancelled flights, I decided that the only way to get home was via rail and spent 21 hours on the Amtrak (bracketed by Lyft rides) so I could get to Oakland Airport and retrieve my car. Yes, it was a real Planes ,Trains, & Automobiles experience for me.

It turns out I timed my escape from Portland perfectly, as I managed to slip out just after the first storm hit, but before the second one could cripple the transportation in and around that city, and through the Northern California corridors even further. My train journey was delayed only three hours due to the flooding in Northern CA; it could have been much worse.

Other than that I’ve been mostly holed up at home, working and entertaining myself with ebooks, DVDs from the library, and Netflix. I’m getting lots of knitting done, too, and am working on a baby blanket for a friend and a pair of socks for my sister. Both projects will take me through February and into March, I’m sure.

I took a small break from my extreme introverting to attend a resistance march last Friday night (in the pouring rain, no less) and the Women’s March here in Napa. There were an impressive number of people out and about on a day that kept threatening rain (and eventually delivered while the speakers were still going strong). I met a couple of friends from knitting group and we marched together, wearing our pussy hats proudly. I had picked up the yarn for my hat while in Hood River, OR at a small yarn shop. I was delighted that the bright pink colorway was called Liberally Bleeding Heart. It only took about two days to knit up my hat and have it ready for the march. I’m still wearing it as my go-to hat and probably will for the next four years.

I’m sure some of the reason I’m so low energy is due to the political events. It’s draining to me to see the progress made in the past eight years dismantled, and to experience the gaslighting and crazy talk of the new administration. (Enough said there. I just…can’t.)

Health-wise, I’m also trying hard to focus on the fundamentals: eat nutritious food (yet not too much), get the right amount of exercise, and get enough sleep. I’m doing pretty good with the food part, but the exercise and sleep parts are challenges. It seems that even one night of less than perfect sleep can mess me up for many days, and trying to make exercise challenging enough without overdoing it and causing physical discomfort has been hard. I thought I had been doing pretty well with my exercise level at the end of November/beginning of December, but then started having unusual pains in my lower abdomen near the surgery site. That made me back off completely for a while. Now I’m trying to figure out how to avoid that, while still getting myself back into shape.

I see this extreme introverting (as I’m calling it) continuing through the rest of the winter, at least. Maybe spring will bring some renewed mental and physical resilience.

How has your winter been?

Two years in

I arrived in Napa, California two years ago today: December 1, 2014. It was raining that day and I recall being surprised by the weather. I was expecting there to be blue skies and sunshine since I knew the area was in drought.

The weather continued cool and rainy that first week. The movers unpacking my shipping container of belongings tracked wet leaves across the floors and cautioned me that the paint on the front steps made them slippery. Non-skid throw rugs and treads for the front steps were bumped up my priority purchase list.

The rains eventually abated by the end of the week. They returned a few times, but I enjoyed the mostly blue skies and sun. I savored the crisp air and cool temperatures that left a thin film of frost on my car windows overnight and once or twice led to a frost warning. I could still wear my precious hand-knitted hats, scarfs, and shawls, but didn’t miss the bulk of the thick down coat I had to don in Chicago winters.

Spring arrived in February, with new growth on the deciduous trees and blooming calla lilies in the front yard. The robins appeared in March, and by April I was already regularly wearing short sleeves and capris during my weekly hikes. In late May I was wearing linen and sweating during the day at the local music festival, yet still found it necessary to put on a fleece as the sun went down to combat the evening chill. From May through November I don’t recall any rain at all, but then the winter rains started again and the cycle was complete.

I’ve found that the seasons here are the same as back in Chicago, but they are on an accelerated schedule and there is no snow to shovel. The climate suits me, and my skin doesn’t dry up like it used to every winter in Chicago.

I love Northern California and am glad I moved here. Every single time my gaze falls on the high hills framing the valley, I smile and sigh with pleasure. Despite the health challenges that cropped up within just a few months of my arrival, I am happy in this place. But I am also frequently lonely.

It takes time to make friends as an adult. Friendships were easier while in high school and college, when everyone was moving through similar milestones. It seems that I am out of sync with the vast majority of people in this small town at the edge of the sprawling Bay Area. Most of the women I meet are wives and mothers, and their schedules revolve around their children and husbands. They may be able to meet once a week for knitting or the occasional game night, but they aren’t available on the weekends.

If I lived closer to San Francisco there would be many more single professional women my age and I would have a livelier social life on the weekends. I figured this out before I bought a house here and settled in more deeply. Despite the social challenges, I still chose to stay because I enjoy the other privileges that come with the lower density: quiet, lack of heavy traffic, shorter lines for services, quick access to large swathes of open space, and breath-taking natural beauty.

Two years in I’m still loving Napa. May the honeymoon never end.

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Tax planning

I’m hoping to get some comments and opinions on this post. I’m trying to decide if I should file my taxes next year using a product like Turbo Tax or continue to use a tax professional. What works for you? Why do you choose to prepare your own taxes? Or, why do you choose to use a professional?

I used to handle my own tax returns until I got married. I can’t recall exactly why my ex-husband and I started to go to a CPA/tax professional during our first year of marriage, but I do recall that my mother-in-law recommended the person to us. Throughout my marriage and even after I was divorced I continued to use his services.

I always thought a tax professional was there to advise and help you figure out the intricacies of the tax code, and since I also liked the guy I didn’t see a reason to stop. Shortly after my divorce I consulted with him about my plan to rent rooms in my house because I wanted to understand the pros and cons from a tax perspective. His advice was encouraging and I was glad I had talked to him first as it guided my approach to tracking expenses related to renting rooms.

My last year in Chicago was the last year he prepared my taxes. Sadly, he died unexpectedly on April 15th of that year. It seemed oddly poignant that his last days were spent working long hours for his clients.

By that time, though, he had started working closely with some other professionals who were able to step in quickly and take over his clients. I met with one of them before I left Chicago so I could explore whether he could continue to help me after my move, and to make sure I was adequately prepared from a tax perspective for the big financial change that would happen when I sold my house and moved over 2,000 miles away. Based on that meeting, I decided to keep working with him.

When I received the tax package from him early this year, I briefly considered doing my own taxes. I had an investment loss in 2015, however, and I wasn’t confident about how to handle it, so I decided it would be best to continue working with him. For the 2016 tax year I’ll be back on familiar ground with mortgage and property tax deductions, as well as following the same steps as in 2015 for the investment loss.

From a preparation perspective, I doubt there would be much difference between working with a CPA/tax professional and preparing the tax forms myself. I’m responsible for providing the data and for keeping receipts and documentation. Filling out the worksheets I’m provided every year and pulling all the data together takes me several hours. Inputting it shouldn’t take much longer, so I think with a good tax program I should be able to complete the tax returns myself and not miss any credits or deductions. I’m just not 100% sure.

Last month I decided to take steps to find a local tax professional by setting up an appointment with a person highly recommended on Nextdoor.com. While I liked her and we had a good conversations, she informed me that her minimum fees were twice what I was paying the CPA back in Illinois. She gave me the names of two other local firms I could look into that would likely have lower fees, but when I looked them up online and saw their range of services I started questioning my need for working with a professional at all.

So, should I go it alone for the 2016 tax year? Or should I continue working with a professional? What do you do and why?

 

Getting back in shape

Two years ago when I first arrived in Napa I was in pretty good shape. I had been following an eating and exercise plan and was within 10 lbs of a reasonable goal weight. (Which is about 10 lbs heavier than my absolute lowest weight; I’m nearly 50 and realize it’s unlikely I will be as thin as I was in my 20s.) I had been keeping my activity levels up by going on strenuous hikes about twice a week and using DVD or streaming video exercise courses at home.

Then my health challenges really kicked in. Five months after my arrival, I had my first diverticulitis attack in over a year. Three months later I had another. About three months after that my eye disease emerged. Then just a couple of months later I was hospitalized with my third diverticulitis diagnosis, and they discovered that I needed surgery to remove an ovarian cyst that had gone rogue.

My ability to stick to an eating plan that helped me keep weight off — lots of vegetables and protein, smaller amounts of fruit, and very small amounts of starchy carbs — was unsustainable while I was dealing with diverticulitis. The diet I had to follow during and for at least a couple of weeks after each attack required me to eat mostly starchy, bland food like white rice, white breads, and regular pasta. As much as I love all those foods they are terrible for my weight control.

Regular, vigorous exercise had become a nearly insurmountable challenge, too. Every time I had diverticulitis I was laid low due to the pain and side effects from the strong antibiotics and painkillers I was taking. Still, I had been able to keep in decent shape up until my hospitalization in December 2015, but it was all downhill from there. Abdominal surgery at the end of the year severely curtailed my activity for months, and once I suffered yet another case of diverticulitis a few months after surgery (my fourth case in a year!) I was done for.

Those are all the reasons I packed on the pounds again: activity and dietary restrictions and challenges over the course of an entire year. I’m up to the heaviest I can ever recall being and I’ve had enough of that. My wardrobe is down to the very few items (mostly stretchy clothes and a couple bras) I kept from the last time I was nearly this heavy. I refuse to buy more clothes since I have an entire closet and two medium storage bins full of clothing that would work for me if I just lost some of this weight.

The surgeon who did my most recent surgery has cleared me for all activities and exercises, so I’m getting back into regular workouts again. I’m being careful about it, though. I’m not only trying to claw my way back to decent fitness and cardio health, I’m also trying to avoid further injury (I’m still recovering from a bad ankle sprain).

Aquatic exercise is often recommended for people who need to be gentle on their joints, and I’ve enjoyed the few classes I’ve taken over the years so I decided to find a place offering aqua fitness classes. The week before I started back to work I visited three different gyms in town that have pools and offer classes. One of those gyms had a very high ($200!) fee just to join, and another was run down and grungy.

Luckily there is a new fitness club that is well-maintained, has two pools, and is only about a 5 minute drive away. The price is on par with the other two clubs with pools, and my employer’s fitness subsidy will cover almost half of the annual cost to maintain my membership. I secured a free weekly pass and tried a class before I decided to join.

 

My routine has been to go to the aquatic exercise classes three times a week. I’ve also taken some yoga classes, and will be giving the treadmills a try now that I’ve just received a new pair of shoes.

I know it will seem to take much longer to get the weight off than it did to put it on, but I’m hoping that I’ll be able to fit into the next size down by the end of January at the latest. I just need to be able to manage my energy better. There are days I come home from an exercise class and feel so tired that I just have to lay down for a few hours. That’s not very conducive to working and won’t be sustainable once the slow days around the holiday are over.

Dystopian imaginings

I can’t avoid the news forever, so I’m occasionally reading some of the summaries and articles about the president-elect and the cabinet appointments he’s making. These are truly dark times (and I’m not just talking about the return to Standard Time and shortening day length).

As bad as it may seem to have Trump as president-elect, I’m actually more worried that the only option would be to replace him with Pence. Unless these seemingly cockamamie claims that the Russians hacked the election are true and audited results change the election outcome, if Trump is found unfit to serve as president we’ll get Pence as our POTUS. Trump may be a buffoon and a profiteer, but Pence is a scary, scary guy.

The litany of strong social conservative positions he’s championed or made law in Indiana is long. He believes in conversion therapy for LGBTQ people, and is vehemently anti-choice. This is the guy who inspired the Periods for Pence (now Periods for Pols) social media group and inspired Indiana women to call his office and report on their menstrual periods.

I have high school friends in Indiana who have first hand experience with living in a state run by this guy. One friend is the mother of a transgender young adult. She’s angry and scared that her child will suffer under a Trump/Pence administration.

Trump is already showing signs of being unlikely to rise to the demands of being POTUS. The crazy conspiracy theory part of my brain is thinking that maybe this was always the plan of the Republicans: use Trump to win the election since he’s able to appeal to the masses, then replace him with Pence as the real president. We truly have a situation of bad to worse here even if there are no grand schemes in play.

Coping by baking and a banana oat muffin recipe

I made it through a full work week and only had to fit in emergency naps for the first two days. 🙂 Considering that every day began with a meeting that started at 5:00 or 5:30 AM PT, I think that’s an accomplishment to be proud of.

We’re expecting the entire weekend to be rainy here in North Bay. It is indeed a grey day outside, and therefore perfect for comforting indoor activities like baking. This is a bona fide stress-relieving activity, and the end result is something delicious. Win/win!

While I’ve had the urge to bake some scones all week, I’m also trying to get myself back into healthier habits, too. (And trying to forget that pint of ice cream I polished off a few nights ago.) Based on past experience, if I cut down on the starchy carbs severely and add back in some exercise I should start shedding the pounds steadily. I love my starchy carbs, though, and they are my go-to comfort food.

As a compromise, I am baking these banana oat muffins this morning. I found this recipe online at Allrecipes.com way back in 1999. I know this because there is a time stamp at the bottom corner of the paper on which I printed it. That paper is getting pretty tattered from heavy use, so adding the recipe to the blog with my notes is one way for me to preserve it in a (hopefully) enduring format.

This is an adaptable recipe, and I’ve tried the following substitutions and additions:

  • Substituted up to 1 cup whole wheat flour
  • Substituted brown sugar for white sugar
  • Decreased the sugar from 1/2 cup to 1/3 cup
  • Substituted almond milk for regular milk
  • Substituted 1/4 vegetable oil + 1/2 cup ground flax seeds for the 1/3 cup vegetable oil
  • Added chocolate chips (up to 1 cup)
  • Added chopped walnuts (usually around 1/2 cup, and preferably toasted first)

While most  variations have turned out pretty well, I do not recommend decreasing the sugar. These aren’t terribly sweet muffins anyway, and reducing the sugar to less than 1/2 cup made them a bit too salty/savory in my opinion.

The original recipe also indicates that it makes 12 muffins. I usually bake them in a large 6 muffin baking pan, which means that the baking time needs to be adjusted and more carefully monitored. Considering the variation among ovens, this is usually wise advice for all baking, though.

Banana Oat Muffins

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup white sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup mashed bananas [usually about 2]

Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Combine flour, oats, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a medium bowl. If adding nuts or chocolate chips, stir into the dry ingredients.

In a large bowl, beat the egg lightly. Add the bananas [mash now with a fork if not already mashed]. Stir in the milk, oil, and vanilla.  Gently stir/fold in the dry ingredients until just combined. Line the muffin tin with paper bake cups or coat with non-stick spray.

[Here I usually let the muffin batter rest for at least 5 minutes so the oats can soften. If using regular rolled oats instead of quick oats this improves the texture of the final product. It also mitigates any texture issues that could be caused by over-stirring, a common muffin-baking issue.]

Divide the batter evenly in the baking pan. If baking with a 12-cup muffin pan, bake for 18 to 20 minutes. If using a 6-cup muffin pan, bake 20 to 25 minutes. Set your timer and test for doneness at the most minimal time.

Remove from oven and turn muffins out onto a baking rack to cool. [Don’t cool them in the pan or they may get soggy on the bottom.]

These muffins freeze well and can be defrosted in the microwave or on the countertop. Enjoy!

Time’s up

Today is my last day of medical leave. I’ve been off for six weeks and three days and I’m as ready as I’ll ever be to get back to my job.

What a disappointing week, to say the least. I should have been back to work last Wednesday, November 9, but I asked for a couple extra days when I last saw the surgeon. I knew I’d be up late watching the election returns and I wanted to be able to sleep in. Turns out it was a smart move in more ways than one.

Being in the Pacific Time zone, I didn’t have to stay up in the wee hours to see the general direction things were going. Election Night was also a knitting group night, and since we all wanted to watch the returns I invited people to my house. We started out happily enough at about 6:30 PM. As we watched the sea of red grow on the election map on PBS we got more subdued. When the results for Pennsylvania were posted we knew it was over.

I went to bed that night with 90% certainty that HRC lost the election, but I still had some hope. The next morning all doubts were resolved.

Since then I’ve been laying low. Partly because I’m depressed and distressed by the results, and partly because I’m relishing my copious free time while it is still available.

My recuperation from surgery has been pretty smooth, but despite spending so much downtime around the house I’ve managed to injure myself. Within a single week I whacked the baby toe on my left foot hard enough that I’m sure I broke it, and then misstepped in my driveway and sprained my left ankle badly.

(My left foot and ankle have sustained more injuries than any other part of my body. I first sprained that ankle when I was 10 and have lost count of how many times I’ve done so. The last time I injured that ankle was a fibula fracture two years ago. I got a ride to the local hospital for an x-ray just to make sure I didn’t fracture it again, and was happy to find out it was just another sprain.)

Since my mobility was restricted, I’ve been rather sedentary during the past six weeks. I watched a lot of streaming media. Read a few books. Completed the knitting, blocking, and sewing up of two sweaters. Made good progress on a third sweater, and restarted knitting on a little shawl that keeps confounding me when I check the stitch count.

I’m not sure if I’m mentally ready to resume work now or not, but that doesn’t matter at this point. I think I’ll go set the alarm now so I don’t forget.