Getting back in shape

Two years ago when I first arrived in Napa I was in pretty good shape. I had been following an eating and exercise plan and was within 10 lbs of a reasonable goal weight. (Which is about 10 lbs heavier than my absolute lowest weight; I’m nearly 50 and realize it’s unlikely I will be as thin as I was in my 20s.) I had been keeping my activity levels up by going on strenuous hikes about twice a week and using DVD or streaming video exercise courses at home.

Then my health challenges really kicked in. Five months after my arrival, I had my first diverticulitis attack in over a year. Three months later I had another. About three months after that my eye disease emerged. Then just a couple of months later I was hospitalized with my third diverticulitis diagnosis, and they discovered that I needed surgery to remove an ovarian cyst that had gone rogue.

My ability to stick to an eating plan that helped me keep weight off — lots of vegetables and protein, smaller amounts of fruit, and very small amounts of starchy carbs — was unsustainable while I was dealing with diverticulitis. The diet I had to follow during and for at least a couple of weeks after each attack required me to eat mostly starchy, bland food like white rice, white breads, and regular pasta. As much as I love all those foods they are terrible for my weight control.

Regular, vigorous exercise had become a nearly insurmountable challenge, too. Every time I had diverticulitis I was laid low due to the pain and side effects from the strong antibiotics and painkillers I was taking. Still, I had been able to keep in decent shape up until my hospitalization in December 2015, but it was all downhill from there. Abdominal surgery at the end of the year severely curtailed my activity for months, and once I suffered yet another case of diverticulitis a few months after surgery (my fourth case in a year!) I was done for.

Those are all the reasons I packed on the pounds again: activity and dietary restrictions and challenges over the course of an entire year. I’m up to the heaviest I can ever recall being and I’ve had enough of that. My wardrobe is down to the very few items (mostly stretchy clothes and a couple bras) I kept from the last time I was nearly this heavy. I refuse to buy more clothes since I have an entire closet and two medium storage bins full of clothing that would work for me if I just lost some of this weight.

The surgeon who did my most recent surgery has cleared me for all activities and exercises, so I’m getting back into regular workouts again. I’m being careful about it, though. I’m not only trying to claw my way back to decent fitness and cardio health, I’m also trying to avoid further injury (I’m still recovering from a bad ankle sprain).

Aquatic exercise is often recommended for people who need to be gentle on their joints, and I’ve enjoyed the few classes I’ve taken over the years so I decided to find a place offering aqua fitness classes. The week before I started back to work I visited three different gyms in town that have pools and offer classes. One of those gyms had a very high ($200!) fee just to join, and another was run down and grungy.

Luckily there is a new fitness club that is well-maintained, has two pools, and is only about a 5 minute drive away. The price is on par with the other two clubs with pools, and my employer’s fitness subsidy will cover almost half of the annual cost to maintain my membership. I secured a free weekly pass and tried a class before I decided to join.

 

My routine has been to go to the aquatic exercise classes three times a week. I’ve also taken some yoga classes, and will be giving the treadmills a try now that I’ve just received a new pair of shoes.

I know it will seem to take much longer to get the weight off than it did to put it on, but I’m hoping that I’ll be able to fit into the next size down by the end of January at the latest. I just need to be able to manage my energy better. There are days I come home from an exercise class and feel so tired that I just have to lay down for a few hours. That’s not very conducive to working and won’t be sustainable once the slow days around the holiday are over.

Highs and Lows

Fair warning: there’s some adult content here!

Stuff that makes me feel good:

• I’ve been getting into a groove with exercising in the mornings. I found this fitness program that I really like on the local PBS station. It’s a sort of ballet/classical dance based program and each episode is only about 25 minutes long. I went looking for DVDs online and found that in addition to the DVDs you can subscribe to a bigger catalog of streaming programs, so I did that instead. With my employer fitness program subsidy it only costs me about $7 a month. In case anyone wants to try these classes they’re at essentrics.com. At the end of each session I say “Thank you, Miranda Esmonde-White!”
• One of my close friends from Chicago contacted me a couple days ago and asked if it would work for her to visit me over Labor Day weekend. Yes!! She scored a super cheap flight. We’re going to have so much fun!!
• I’ve been listening to the Against the Stream podcasts more often and thinking about how I can add meditation into my days. I’ve sat a couple of times for a whole 20 breaths.  Woo hoo!
• In a totally different vein, I’ve also been amused by listening to the Guys we F****d podcasts (NSFW!), starting with the oldest ones first. I still have quite a few to catch up on, but am finding them intriguing. I admire that these young women are claiming their sexuality so boldly, and find some of their advice to be spot on, yet at the same time I think they still have some things to learn about relationships. But they are stand up comedians, so the podcast isn’t meant to be super serious. A few of the shows have been annoying, but I just skip past those. It will be interesting to see how the podcast continues to develop as I catch up with the current episodes.

Not so good stuff:

• I cried during a conference call today. I think my colleagues (both women) knew what was happening. One sent me an email message tonight that was really nice. I’ve been working on a project that is really frustrating the hell out of me because I seem to be hitting all sorts of roadblocks. The project team keeps telling me I need to step up and make some progress, and that just is getting to be too much for me because besides this project I have like 5 billion other things I am supposed to be doing. I have 3,500 emails in my inbox. I’m waaaaayyyy behind on just about everything, and I keep getting more piled on. My new boss (yes, I have a new boss and a new organization I’m kinda sorta not quite fully integrated into) says things like “Just speak up when you need help,” so I do and the people he tells me to get help from are also already really busy and help just a tiny bit and then it just bounces right back to me. *sigh* Every Friday I am ECSTATIC that the weekend is nearly here. Every Monday I am hopeful. By Wednesday, I am frequently in the pit of despair. But I have a job, right? I am employed and able to pay my bills and all that. That’s good, right? Right?
• I am currently in a stand-off with my father and stepmother. When I was back in Chicago for my mother’s 75th birthday my dad was unexpectedly hospitalized. I hadn’t been planning to add a visit to my dad that trip, but I had a rental car and some flexibility in my schedule so I drove out to see him in the hospital. He was released a few days later and has been doing OK, but I apparently made a couple critical errors around that whole event. I didn’t know that he and stepmother don’t want any references to them EVER posted on social media. I had made a reference on my Facebook account to going to the hospital to see him and what his condition was. Big error, apparently. A lurking relative contacted dad and stepmom about his “health scare” which is how they got tipped off. They let me know they did not like that I had posted something about them on Facebook, etc., etc. Fine, I took my lumps and said I wouldn’t ever reference them again on any social media [which I guess I’m sort of breaking right now], but apparently that wasn’t enough and they were still miffed about it. Also, the fact that I had expressed any interest at all in dad’s treatment by asking questions was seen as bad, too. When sister had a visit with dad and stepmom last month, stepmom apparently complained vehemently about how I had not only shared information about dad’s health with all sorts of people who didn’t need to know (and not just mentioning that he had been hospitalized on Facebook, but likely talking to my friends about it, horrors!!) but that I also had tried to give my dad medical advice. ????? I guess by asking questions, I was giving advice. So for the past three weeks I have been in a f*** them mood and refused to call them, and since they refuse to call any of their “kids” (we are expected to call them once a week…yes, EXPECTED, as they have made abundantly clear to me) we are in a stand off. They’re older than me and not in as good health as me, so I’m gonna bet they break first. We’ll see.

Not sure if good or bad:

• Last weekend I did some social media “gardening” (such as removing some “friends,” etc.). One of the things I did was update my Google profile photo. I don’t use Google +, although I do have an account, but I use Gmail and comment on Blogspot blogs and had noticed that my photo was very old (like, at least 14 years old!). So I changed it out for a more recent one. Ever since then I’ve been getting notifications that men I do not know (they are all men) had added me to their circles. I have checked my G+ privacy settings and strangers should not be able to add me to their circles, so I’m very confused by this development. And a little creeped out by it, too. Is G+ now some sort of clandestine dating site where guys troll for women? WTH?!
• I had a very odd, but very sexual dream about an old boyfriend last night. The boyfriend in my dream was someone I dated a very long time (like nearly 30 years) ago. I had ended the relationship because he had become very disrespectful of me (by cheating a couple times, and essentially raping me once) and then proceeded to creepily stalk me for a while afterwards. So it disturbs me that I had this dream about him and it involved sexual stuff. Certainly I’m feeling healthier these days because I’m having…ahem…cravings, but to dream about this particular guy in this particular way…ewww. Maybe I need to listen to less Guys we F****d podcasts.

Moving along

Here it is, week 3 of living at my sister’s house and I’ve pretty much settled into a routine. She joined the same gym I belong to, so now we go to the gym together at times.

Having a work out buddy is another motivation for me to not skip a gym date, although I wouldn’t attempt to keep up with her. I’m only now getting comfortable with the fact that I must get pretty sweaty in the course of getting healthier, whereas she works out as if she wants to get to the point of falling over in exhaustion as quickoy as possible.

I have a new trainer at the equestrian center and I think she’ll work out better for me. She let me help tack up the horse and identified some other areas I need to work on in my posture and seat, including gripping better with my legs. This means much more working out of inner thighs at the gym. Between riding for 30 minutes on Friday and working out for 1.5 hours at the gym at some pretty leg intensive stuff yesterday, it’s no surprise that my legs are quite sore this morning.

Even so, I feel like doing more exercise today. I think I’m starting to understand my sister’s style a bit more. And I am starting to get that lovely rush when I get into the cardio stuff after several minutes.

My only disappointment with the riding lessons is that the over past 2 weeks I haven’t been able to ride the lovely Moose. He’s been lame each time and so I’ve had to instead ride older, slower mares that need a bit of coaxing to get into the trot. I suppose the silver lining is that I’ve learned how to handle a crop pretty effectively now. Still, I’m hoping to get Moose next Friday when I go back.

This week I get to spend several days and night at my home. Hooray! Mark has an out of town business trip, so I get the house to myself during that time. Only 2 more weeks to go until I can move back in permanently, too. He is definitely moving out on February 28, and I plan on being there to help things move along as quickly and smoothly as possible.

I’m still waiting to hear about the final court or “prove up” date, though. And for the final, signed copy of the MSA (marital settlement agreement). The MSA went to Mark’s attorney late last week, and once I have a signed copy and I can take that to the mortgage broker and get the refinancing done.

So, these are the final things remaining on my personal let’s-get-my-new-life-started-checklist: get final MSA; refinance house; attend prove up and get quit claim deed; transfer title on the house.

Seems like everyone I know is going out town to someplace warm around Feburary 25, and I’d love to do that, too. Unfortunately, it just won’t be possible to do that until I get through that checklist first. But after that…well…we’ll see what can be worked out.