There have been several teary interludes in the past 24 hours.
Last night, I wrote a message to my old therapist letting her know about my move and wishing her well. I was crying a lot at the time because I’m afraid she’s dying. Even though she is roughly the same age as me, she has a very bad lung disease and is awaiting a transplant. That’s why we had to end our doctor/patient relationship: she was too sick to continue working. We had been working together for 16 years. When I first met with her I’d been suffering from panic attacks so severe I ended up in the ER. I haven’t had a panic attack in over 10 years, but I found plenty to work on with her, nonetheless. (Thanks mom and dad!)
I also said goodbye last night to the chiropractor and massage therapist who have helped me work through the kinks and twinges caused from too many hours in front of a laptop for work and pleasure.
Today I had my last appointment with the physical therapist who has helped me through two bouts of plantar fasciitis and recovery from my broken ankle (which led to the most recent PF flare). I had coffee with a colleague who I won’t be completely severed from since we’re still working for the same employer, but we likely won’t be in the same physical space together ever again.
I went to the stable today to go on what was going to be my last trail ride on the horse I’ve been share-boarding for the past several months. However, it turns out I’m going to score a bonus ride in a couple days due to the hellacious weather today. Instead, I’ll get to ride again him on the trail on Sunday as a make up.
About that weather situation…we’re having the WORST Halloween I can ever remember in the Chicago area, and I’ve lived here for more than 40 years. The high today reached 40F. We’ve had wind gusts over 50 MPH, which pushed the lake up over the beaches and onto a major thoroughfare, Lake Shore Drive. This make rush hour a nightmare for many people. (Thankfully, not for me.)
Here, just a few miles away from the lake it was not much better. It was very cold this morning and as I drove between appointments it started snowing. Yes, SNOW on October 31. Not just a few flakes, but enough to accumulate on the grass. It’s like I’m getting a final reminder about why I’m leaving: the weather here really sucks!
I had on extra layers in readiness for the trail ride with a trainer, but when I got to the stable I found that the trainer was sick with something that sounded suspiciously like my bronchitis (sorry!). With the high winds possibly making the forest preserve path dangerous (due to slippery leaf cover under foot and trees/branches blowing down), we rescheduled the ride.
Still, I had to say goodbye to the receptionist who won’t be at the desk this weekend.
Besides tears, there were lots of hugs today. The hugs definitely made up for the tears.
Wondering what happened with the estate sale? Well, I think I did OK. I won’t know how much was made for at least another week, but I’m hoping that the amount at least covered the minimum reserve.
While Saturday was a disappointment, on Sunday a lot of stuff sold. (Sunday was also the day that prices were reduced throughout the day, pushing down the potential profit.) I was still left with a few large items, including my couch and loveseat, as well as a full-sized futon and frame that had been used in my guest room for the past year. There were also several shelving units, the compost bins, and some other gardening stuff like hoses left.
I called the removing companies recommended by the estate sale company and one of them called me back to give me the scoop on how these services work. First, they dump nearly all the items they remove in a landfill. Also, they charge by the truckload, and they want to be paid (in cash) $250 per truckload. There were at least two things I heard there that bothered me: 1) I HATE to think of perfectly useful things being dumped in a landfill; 2) I don’t like to deal with large amounts of cash; it makes me feel very vulnerable to carry that much currency on me.
So, at the suggestion of a friend I put up a few “free” posts on some message boards. One post was to the online group for Chicago chicken keepers. I know many of them are big-time gardeners, too, so I assumed one or more would want compost bins, hoses, and other gardening stuff. I also put up a post on Craigslist to give away the Tempur-pedic platform support for free. The response to both of these message was gratifying. The guy that came to pick up the Tempur-pedic platform was happy to go through the smaller items (such as dishes and end tables) left over since he was just setting up in his first apartment. Through the “chicken group” I was able to get rid of a lot more. I sorted out all the towels and sheets and took them up the street to the no-kill dog shelter, and put the clothing and remaining household goods in the resale shop drop boxes nearby. I also pulled out all the metal items and neatly stacked them in the alley for the metal recyclers who are always circling through the area like hungry raptors. When the remover got here yesterday, he only had to take away one truck load. 🙂
I also decided to take the couch and love seat with me. Even before the sale, I came to the realization that I had enough stuff that the smallest shipping container wouldn’t work for me. For long distance moves like mine, all the shipping container companies offer limited options: you can get an 8-foot long cube or a 16-foot long cube. Since I’m going to use the 16-foot cube anyway, I may as well fill it up, so the couch, loveseat, and two more small furniture items will move with me. Oh, and of course the Tempur-pedic mattress, books, clothing, yarn, cooking and preserving equipment, and about 20 pints of homemade jam. 🙂
Now, on to the sad stuff again. I still think and worry about B. He sent me a message that first night we were parted, although I didn’t get it until the next morning due to my early bedtime. He noted that he was having trouble sleeping because he was crying so much.
Here was my response: This is very hard for me, too. You have some work to do for yourself. Please do that. Please let the wonderful man that is in[side you] out past the depression and anger.
I’ve had to message him twice since then to inform him of mail I’ve received that looked important. He responded tardily to both messages and basically told me to toss them out.
I think about calling him or texting him to see how he’s doing, and then I correct myself because that is is exactly what I should not do. He needs to do stuff for himself now. I am not responsible for him. I never was responsible for him, but I let myself be convinced I was. I know better now.