DS: Mom asked me if I’ve talked to you lately. She wanted to know what’s going on with you.
Me: Well, she could call me if she wanted to talk to me. I’m not sure why she doesn’t call; the phone works both ways. Anyway, what does that mean “what’s going on with me?”
DS: She wants to know why you’re not coming to Christmas. So, why aren’t you?
Me: Well…well…I guess I don’t feel like my family is very interested in me.
DS: That’s so selfish! Why does it always have to be about you?!