Discipline

I made a promise to myself this week that I would make time to write on my blog on Sunday night. In fact, I’m trying to make time to write every Sunday night.

The fact is that I’ve been in a rut lately. I’m creatively stagnant. My work isn’t engaging me the way it has in the past, and I’m not quite sure what to do to re-engage myself. I’m wanting a change, but I’m not sure what that is, and I don’t feel like I have the ability to spend any time thinking about what that could be, either.

So I’m trying some “hacks” such as setting aside time every week to write. Writing is something I’ve always been driven to do, so why not use that as a kernel on which I can build and stimulate some ideas for what I can do next to get myself going again.

Really, I started writing a long time ago. I can’t even remember exactly when I started. I have some short stories and partial stories that I wrote back in grade school, and I recall giving one of my teachers in 5th grade (or was that 6th grade?) a story that I had written about a lion so she could edit it and make suggestions.

I also attempted to do something a bit more forceful to kick-start some creative thinking: I applied for a one-month work-study at Esalen that runs from mid-December to mid-January. My plan was to take a sabbatical from work and use the time to think as I performed the “work” portion of the work-study.

Note that I refer to my plan in the past tense since it has already gone awry. Esalen’s work-study program is apparently full at that time, so I can sit on the wait list until 2 weeks in advance, or I can just give up. I’m not sure which I should do, quite frankly, but at least I’ve made some sort of progress so far. Even if it isn’t in the direction I had planned.