Over the past few days I’ve found myself avoiding my house. Mark has been on holiday from work for the past 2 weeks and it seems like all he does is sit in the dining room on his laptop or in front of his desktop downloading podcasts. He is constantly around, only occasionally leaving the house to go to the gym. It’s driving me nuts.
So, here I sit in a Panera sucking up free WiFi along with a coffee and dreading the eventual return home. It’s Saturday and I’m desperately hoping he will find some reason to leave the house because I just want to relax in my own home. By myself. Alone.
I’ve never had a problem living alone and I’m quite looking forward to it in many ways. It really irks me that I cannot get some space to myself for the foreseeable future; that I must continue to daily see and interact with this person who has betrayed my trust and caused me heartache. I think my lawyer must be sick of me asking over and over: when will this be over? By that I mean: when will I be able to stop sharing my living space with this traitor.
I spent yesterday afternoon and evening with Rachael just hanging out. We went to Andersonville and had a treat at one of the bakery cafes, visited a few shops, and then headed back to her place for a home cooked dinner and to watch Guillermo del Toro’s The Orphanage. (I think I have all the feeling back in my arm now; Rachael gets way too grabby during suspense/horror films!)
During the evening, I knit a dishcloth for my mom. This is the second one I’ve made her in just a few days and I will be making several more. It was quite embarrassing on Christmas day to see the state of the cloths she is using to wash her dishes. As a knitter, I just had to jump into action and so I’ve picked up a bunch of Lily Sugar n’ Cream and am completing a dishcloth a day.
It’s sort of like revisiting my single, pre-Mark years to be working on dishcloths again. When I first started knitting, I was frustrated by how long it took me to work on the sweater I so desperately wanted. So, Adrienne — the person who so competently taught me how to knit — suggested that I put the sweater down for a bit and try to knit a few discloths.
My first dishcloths seemed to go incredibly slowly, too. Like many new knitters I knit very, very tightly and at times had trouble even getting the needle into a stitch. So when I cast on for a dishcloth on new year’s eve at Adrienne’s house, I couldn’t help but be amazed at how much looser my gauge has become. It’s nice to see that some progress is being made in my life over the past few years. I’ve certainly become a much better knitter!
One of the things I’ve been doing today while sitting in this Panera is catching up on all the blogs I subscribe to in my Google Reader. There are some, like Lifehacker, which it seems I can never catch up with. But many of the blogs I read are ones written by just regular folks I’ve stumbed across somehow, like The Stitch Witch, or folks who are part of the knit-blogger community.
Crazy Aunt Purl may not write about knitting that much, but I’m finding that I can really, really relate to her these days, and her new year post is so outstanding. Go over there and read it.
I think her resolutions exactly fit me, too. I will listen to my instincts. I will try really hard to stop doubting myself so much. I will keep on a solid financial course. And, finally, I will TRAVEL! I am intrigued to travel to the following places and will find some way to do so in the next 3-5 years: Spain, Portugal, UK, Iceland, and Japan.
Iceland is supposed to be a fabulous deal now and I’ve always wanted to go on a horse-back riding trip there on those special Icelandic horses with a fifth gait. So, perhaps my first real action should be to sign up for horseback riding lessons to refresh my skills and get used to riding regularly. That would be a good first step towards what could be a summer trip to a land where the sun never sets in the warm months.
I’ve been feeling at loose ends since I’ve done all that I can do around the divorce proceedings, so having this new goal (become better at horsemanship) could be a very good thing for me. I think I’ll stop at a stable tomorrow and inquire about classes…