Here it goes

Well, I’ve put this off long enough, so here it goes…

I don’t usually write a lot of personal stuff on this blog, but that is about to change. I can choose to either not write about what’s been absorbing me so much lately and just not blog at all, or I can choose to spill it all here in writing. I choose the latter.

I’m getting divorced.

This saddens me deeply and angers me, too. We’ve been married 11 years and just passed our anniversary last month. We were trying to work through why we’ve been less loving with each other the past 2-3 years, but that work basically stopped earlier this year. Instead, my husband started remaking his life and turning even further away from me. He doesn’t want to work on our relationship anymore and he doesn’t love me anymore. So there’s really nothing for me to do about it except call a lawyer and start laying in the kleenex.

I have wonderful friends who have been helping me through this, but it is still very hard. I must continue to work (now more than ever I’ll need the income so I can try to pay the mortgage and all the bills myself), but I just get very sad at times and have trouble concentrating. I’m not getting enough sleep and consider myself lucky if I get more than 4 hours a night.

My life is changing profoundly. I tell myself it will be for the best, but that doesn’t help me in the here and now. At this point, I’d just like it over and done with, but it is just starting.

My lawyer advises that there is a possibility of having this all over with by the end of the year if we can both remain cordial, cooperative, and reasonable about dividing the property. So, that’s what I’m doing.

But this sucks.

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7 thoughts on “Here it goes

  1. Sweetie, we’re all pulling for you! Adequate sleep and good nutrition can’t begin to make up for your loss but they can at least help shore you up to better weather the challenges you’re currently facing. You’re strong and much-loved, so whether you decide to soldier through it or fall apart, there are lots of supportive hands to catch you. {{{hugs}}}

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  2. Linda,

    I’m so sorry. If you ever need someone to cry with I’ve become quite accomplished this year. Really, give me two sec’s and I’ll be right with ya.

    If you need anything…hugs, kleenex, a dog sitter, people to just fill your house and keep you distracted, someone to talk to at midnight, whatever…just let me/us know. And I mean it. Just ask.

    Valerie

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  3. When this is over you will still be a whole and complete person, but your heart will be forever broken. Advice: get lots of exercise — it will help you to work through your pain. I’ll be at Ixtapan the third week in January — wish you could join me. Sending you lots of hugs.

    Jean

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  4. Linda, I’m sorry to hear the news, but I’m glad you’re sharing it with us so we can support you however you want us to. I agree with Jean’s advice to get exercise as much as you can (bonus: if you cry while you run, people think it’s just the wind in your eyes). My heart and thoughts are with you.

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